


Cal Woke Up

by Nylazor



Series: The Adventures of Cal Amell [6]
Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Origins
Genre: Archdemons (Dragon Age), Child Abuse, Harm to Animals, M/M, Non-Consensual Spanking, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Spanking, Trans Character, Trans Male Character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-16
Updated: 2018-09-16
Packaged: 2019-07-12 23:43:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,831
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16005752
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nylazor/pseuds/Nylazor
Summary: Cal wakes up.





	Cal Woke Up

**Author's Note:**

> Check the tags

Cal woke up.

He was in his tent and heard yelling, drowsily he stumbled upward and burst through the flap. The fire was low and he couldn't see anyone, but he could still here the yelling he followed it without thinking rushing through the forest and following the scent of blood. He felt rocks and sticks pierce his feet but he continued unperturbed, he could heal them later. He rushed into a clearing and what he saw he could hardly believe.

All his companions stood facing the Archdemon, the one he had seen in his blightmares. Alistair, Zevran, Leliana, Barkspawn and Shale all were at its feet while Wynne and Morrigan stood back and hurled spells at it.

Dammit all. He hadn't brought his staff, he'd been in such a hurry, he hadn't thought to. Still, the staff simply amplified ones magic, he could cast without it. He began to build up a fireball when the Archdemon roared and flailed its claws, catching his close combat companions in its claws and slamming them to the ground.

Cal screamed and rushed forward only to be caught by a strong hand.

“Where do you think you’re going?” Morrigan asked. Before he could answer she sneered at him. “Do you really think someone as weak as you could save them?”

He felt a hand on his shoulder. “Of all my students I always liked you the least, always brown nosing, you may have been top of your class, but you will always be lacking in what's important.” Said Wynne.

He was speechless. Was that true? It felt true, but everyone else had disagreed. He shook them off and turned to see the Archdemon had made ground meat of his friends, Shale, the only one still alive, if you could call it that was in half. He gasped and took a step back only to see the Archdemon rear its head and breathe fire. He screamed, he felt his skin crackle and pop, it burned and it was all he could feel.

No, no, no.

***

Cal woke up.

Alistair had shaken him awake, and was staring at him, sword in hand. “Darkspawn attack, Let’s go.”

Cal jumped up, still shaken by his dream. But it was just a dream, right? He took his staff and began to fight. He didn’t have much mana, but he used it as he could. There were so many of them, he figured it was go big or go home.

“Back up!” Alistair and Zevran obliged as Cal charged his multi fireball attack.

As he called it down Barkspawn jumped forward into the frey right as the fireballs hit the earth. “NO!”

The darkspawn were weakened enough that Alistair finished them off as Cal rushed forward and knelt beside his pet. There were burns all over his body and several broken bones, including his spine. Cal pushed his magic forward only to feel the telltale ache of exhaustion. 

“I’m out of Mana! Get Wynne!” But Wynne was on the other side of the camp, and Barkspawn needed healing right now. “Alistair, Mana potion!” 

He sprinted to Cal’s tent and Cal focused on barkspawn with what little he had, he tried to ease the pain, but Barkspawn wasn't responding. “Wake up!” Cal gently shook him, he whined and opened his eyes. “Good boy! Stay with me, I'll heal you soon.” Barkspawn struggled to reach for him, making pathetic sniffling sounds, Cal leaned down and the dog licked his face before collapsing. “No!” Cal shook him again, more violently this time, but it was too late, Cal could feel his life forces was gone. “No.”

No, no, no.

***

Cal woke up.

Except Cal wasn't Cal, he was Coleen. And Coleen was a she.

Coleen was curled on the bathroom floor, her eyes were sore and red from tears. She stretched and her joints popped, probably from sleeping on the floor. She rubbed her nose and blinked up at the candle, it was half way down. She didn't know how long she’s been locked in the bathroom, but it was probably awhile.

There was a click and the handle turned, Coleen curled into a ball.

“Really? I try to punish you and it just doesn't take! Did you really spend this whole time sleeping?” Asked her mother.

Coleen withered trying to think what answer would not get her mother angry. The truth was yes, but long ago Coleen had learned that exclusive truth got you bruises and harsh words. She liked to think she was a good liar. It was her one pride. She couldn't decide whether to lie or not so she shrugged.

“Stupid girl.” Her mother marched forward and grasped her wrist harshly and tugged. 

“Mom where are we going?” She asked, but from her mother's tone and her direction she already knew. “Mom… mom please.”

She ignored her.

“Mom please, I'll be good! I'll be good from now on I promise! I promise! Mom? Mom please. Please!” She was begging now, she knew it was no good but she couldn't help it, she was terrified, terrified of the pain. She tug her heels in but was dragged along.

Her mother stopped and layed Coleen across her lap, flipped up her dress and pulled down her small clothes so her butt was exposed.

“Mommy! Mommy! I'm sorry Mommy! I'm sorry!” The first hit and before she could cry out the second.

So it continued, hit after hit on her bottom. She was screaming, begging, pleading for it to stop. Anything, she would do anything to make it stop. Anything. Please.

No, no, no.

***

Cal woke panting. This was getting ridiculous.

He reached down his pants and felt his cock in his hands.

Cal.

He was Cal… and as far as everyone except Wynne was concerned he always had been.

Cal hurried upright and crept to Zevran's tent. “Zevran? Are you awake?” 

A moment, then. “I am now my warden.” He groaned.

Cal entered his tent, he was still shaking. This was real, it had to be. He knelt beside Zevran.

“What is it?” Zevran asked.

“Nightmares. I keep waking up and then something bad happens and then I wake up, it repeats.” Cal managed to get out.

“I'm sorry come here my warden, this is real, I promise.” 

Cal practically tackled him. He pressed their bodies close, noting his scent and how solid he felt. This was real. He was sure.

Then he felt something sharp and painful in his side, something that knocked the breath out if him. Zevran rolled Cal off him, brandishing the knife. “You didn't think I actually liked you, did you? How naive! I was using you! But your use is over.”

Cal was gasping he couldn't form words, he stared in horror as Zevran got up. “Now for the rest of your pathetic party.”

No, no, no.

***  
Cal woke up.

Cal jerked up. And felt like he was going to vomit. He scrambled forward and burst out of his tent and made a beeline for Zevran's. Without asking he slammed forward and landed on top of Zevran.

He felt a knife at his throat felt it dig in. He closed his eyes and waited to wake up.

“Maker! I almost killed you!”

What?

“Cal, whatever is wrong! I sleep with a knife I almost slit your throat!” He eased the knife away and petted Cal’s hair. “Don't scare me like that!”

Cal felt something hot drip down his neck. He opened his eyes and rolled over. He was drowsy but he refused to go back to sleep. I'm still asleep, this is a dream. He cast a spell and the cut on his neck healed and he managed to sit up.

“Zevran! I keep having awful dreams! I wake up and think it's over but then something awful happens and I wake up again! The dreams keep repeating but each one is different… I… I…” he broke into harsh sobs.

“Easy cairo, slow down, this is real. I promise!”

Cal started shaking. “That's what you said in the dream, you said it was real right before you slit my stomach open.” 

“Well then you know it wasn't me! I would never cut a targets stomach open! It's inefficient, takes three days to die, and a healer, like yourself could heal the wound before it killed you.” Zevran seemed disapproving.

“This could still be a dream say something crazy! Say something my subconscious would never make you say!” Cal begged.

“I love the smell of your dog, assassin's honour.” Zevran tried.

“No I asked you to do that, that won't work! Um… I'll have to tell you something crazy.” Cal paused and looked up at him, his eyes still streaming. “I used to be a girl. My name was Coleen. At the circle they transformed me into this body on my 18th birthday, I'm… I'm not a real man.” Cal bit his lip and looked around. 

“I… you… magic can do that?” Zevran asked aghast.

“I'm still here.” Murmured Cal, he got up, walked to the fire and shot a fireball at it, it burst to life.

Zevran stumbled up and followed him. He traced a hand over Cal’s flat chest. “They did a good job.” He complimented.

“I need tea.” Cal mumbled and he but the kettle over the fire and filled it with water.

“Are you still convinced this is a dream?” Asked Zevran.

“Not totally but it's still a possibility.” Cal shrugged.

Zevran embraced him. “Then I suppose the only solution is time.” He glanced at the sky. “Might as well get up, it's almost dawn. Go get dressed. I'll make tea.”

Cal stood still and held Zevran close. “Maybe in a few minutes.”

“Come now, go get dressed.” He paused. “Actually I have an idea.”

Zevran walked to the river nearby and kneeled by the edge, he dipped his hand in. Cal kneeled by his side. “Dio your face in and hold your breath for as long as you can.” Zevran said.

Cal looked at him quizzically, but obliged, he pressed his face into the water, holding his breath. It was cold. Freezing in the early morning air, the water shocked his system and made his heart speed up. He stayed under for as long as he could, then pushed upward gasping for breath. Zevran laughed and pressed their lips together. “What was that?” Cal asked as he pulled away.

“A hangover cure, an old one. Did it work?” Zevran looked amused.

“...yeah. I think it did.” Cal was panting, he turned to Zevran and embraced him. “Thank-you. I owe you one.”

Zevran laughed. “No I think I'm just paying back the favour.” The kettle began to whistle. “Maker, I'll get that, you dry off and get dressed, you look like you're freezing.” Zevran got up and made his way towards the fire.

Cal stared after him, so grateful that he had spared his life. His heart glowed with appreciation and love.

**Author's Note:**

> Okay so I have ptsd and my nightmares are either past events or like this, I wake up, something terrible happens, I wake up, something terrible happens, repeat, kinda like inception, Cal also has ptsd and blightmares, so he has them too.
> 
> Also surprise! Cal is trans (also like me) I kinda remember that in inquisition, someone told Krem he could transition magically and he refused, but Cal did not! He's actually non-binary but I don't think Ferelden knows non binary so he just knew he was unhappy with his afab body. Truth be told he's not very happy with his male body either.
> 
> Also I don't know if that actually is a hangover cure, but it is a skill from dbt. Helps with dissociation, which is what Cal is going through.


End file.
